42 Thoughts I Had While Watching “The Dig”

I accidentally watched “The Dig” the other night. I loved it. This was my journey.

Jack Shepherd

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All Photos: Netflix

Under the false impression that it was going to be one of those films where they dig too far and there’s something in the dark, I recently watched “The Dig.” These were my thoughts. Mild spoilers for “The Dig,” I think.

1. What is this, an archaeology movie? I don’t need to watch an archaeology movie, unless they’re planning on finding a mummy that comes back to life.

2. If it turns out to be some old bones or wood from the past that they dig up and not a dormant skeleton army, I am going to be VERY DISAPPOINTED.

3. Also, why isn’t Emma Thompson in this movie? Did her agent fall in a well when they were handing out “The Dig” scripts?

4. Casting Swoony McSexy from “The English Patient” as a grizzled old farmer who was presumably unearthed in the last dig was a deliberate choice to make me feel old.

5. I do like his attitude though. He is like, “I know about all the different kinds of dirt because I am basically made of old British soil and that makes me the best at digging.”

6. Helena Bonham Carter fell in the same well as Emma Thompson’s agent. It’s all very sad.

7. This lady is very good though. She seems upset but, like, she’s not going to bother anyone about it.

8. Oh, good. She’s going to be friends with the grumpy shovelman. And there’s a whimsical boy. This will be an offbeat family comedy.

9. This is not an offbeat family comedy. There’s a war on.

10. Also now I am beginning to think it would be better if the lady talked to someone about her sadness.

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Jack Shepherd

I have a newsletter about crossword puzzles and a podcast about rom-coms. Formerly editorial director @BuzzFeed. Email: JackAShepherd at gmail